Here we are on the eve of Mother’s Day weekend. It’s about as American as apple pie … celebrating mothers. Then again, it’s fraught with turmoil. There are the mothers who failed us (just ask my son, John, … and then keep in mind that he’s only 18-years-old and it is his absolute job right now to hate me with a passion. He’ll get over himself, … at least a mom can hope). But that’s just scratching the surface of things. Not for John and me … no, no, no … I’m full of ego, just like the next mom trying to launch a kid into this crazy world of ours right now, but no, I mean the issues with Mother’s Day …
- There are the women who wish they were moms, but can’t get pregnant or find their way through the adoption process.
- There are the women who are grieving the loss of a child.
- There are the women who are mothering another person’s child.
- There are the women who are mothering their very own mothers, or their spouse’s mother.
- There are the women who have kids, but are sick with worry over who their kids appear to be, … at the moment, at least (it’s the ‘job’ of moms to always hold out deep hope for their littles).
- There are the men who have had to be moms for various reasons … those men who resent the heck out of this … and the ones who love it (except for the tragic reality of how damn hard it is to be ‘a mom’).
- And, what about those of us who had moms who didn’t live up to who we needed them to be … or maybe worse yet, wanted them to be. Or the moms we loved with all our hearts, but are no longer here with us …
Yes, Mother’s Day is fraught with heavy emotions, … not just light, loving, sweet ones.
Furthermore, our Capitalistic society has capitalized (pun intended) on our emotional fragility around this holiday … insisting that we are a ‘most terrible child’ if we don’t get just the right gift for mom … which is what exactly?!
My personal favorite is the year that John presented me with a quarter and offered to take me out for a pizza dinner … just what every 5-year-old little boy wants to eat and no mother ever wants for Mother’s Day, for God’s sake. Especially after leading worship and preaching at a church that is too small to have a kids’ program so you have to stand up front in of a group of people while holding the Bible over your head as your toddler tries to remove the lapel mic off your robe (of course this is completely a figment of my imagination … it never happened … of course not. My dear, nearly-perfect child would never do that).
Okay, it did happen. And maybe that’s why my sweet son knew he needed to make up for it. I was a single mom and he knew he needed to do something (there was no dear old dad to begrudgingly or otherwise take care of things, so John offered what he had on hand). Well, he’s smart … he had more then 25 cents in his piggy bank, I’m sure, but he’s a shrewd bargainer and his adorable self might just have bought us some pizza from a very tired, single mom waitress who couldn’t resist the cuteness of the whole thing. I mean given different circumstances, I personally would have been all over that.
So, what are we to do, my people?!
Tread lightly, please. Offer kindness. Love each other. Take a ‘long, loving look at the Real’ … which is to say that we could all use a little benefit of the doubt. We’re vestiges of God, with skin on, which makes it a little hard to see how awesome we all really are. Or, if we aren’t awesome on this particular day, or in this particular season, we’re at least trying our best, right? Every last one of us, … with whatever cards we’ve been dealt at the moment. So, give even the ‘idiot-mom,’ the ‘raging-crazy-woman-mom,’ the ‘auntie-who-is-not-the-best-mom-you-ever-could’ve-hoped-for-mom,’ the ‘dad who has a deer-in-the-headlights-look as he tries to be a mom,’and Your-Very-Own-Mom (like her or not, today) … give them all a little love this weekend. You’ll feel better … and so will she/he/them.
Peace out for now, my dear ones.